Real Talk

Happy Hump Day, all! I wanted to talk candidly today about an important topic today, but first, the normal breakfast and workout recap.

My breakfast was a bowl of overnight oats (I mixed 3/4 cup of steel cut oats with water and let sit in the fridge overnight), some sliced strawberries, and about an ounce of cashews chopped up. I also ate a leftover hard boiled egg from Easter for some extra protein. Quite delicious and filling!

After breakfast, I headed to the gym for a workout. I did 25 minutes on the elliptical before completing the following ab workout:

• 3 sets of 1 min. planks with feet on exercise ball
• 3 sets of 50 (each side) standing oblique crunches
• 3 sets of 10 leg lifts in captain's chair
• 3 sets of 20 crunches on exercise ball
• 1 set 1 min. plank on the floor

Okay, now that those are out of the way, I want to talk about something pretty serious. I try to stay as positive and upbeat as I can on this blog. I don't like to feed into negative energy because I want this blog to be a place of inspiration for you all. However, I feel that I have to be honest about something I've been dealing with recently in the hopes that some can relate. 

When I began losing weight in 2011, I was in my element. I knew how to lose weight. It was easy for me. I am a type A personality so structure is something I never had a problem with. Once I reached my goal weight earlier this year, suddenly the floor fell out from underneath me. I was able to eat more and add things back into my diet that I had not eaten in over a year. I thought I would definitely gain weight. So I kept on counting calories. I did increase my intake, but I was still not eating the required 2,000 calories needed to maintain (I was probably eating around 1,700). 

In recent weeks, a strange new problem reared its ugly head. I would go the whole day eating healthily (oatmeal and fruit for breakfast, veggies for morning snack, etc), then as soon as dinner was over, I would go into the kitchen and fix my dessert (usually a rice cake top with peanut butter and a few M&M's). I would eat it, then go back for more, an apple here, another handful of chocolate there, then a bowl of popcorn, then a handful of raisins... before I knew it, I was in the middle of a binge that I could not stop. It was almost like I was possessed- I could not stay out of the kitchen and just go sit down. Afterwards, I felt bloated and guilty. I thought I was on my way to gaining my weight back and I was terrified. 

So, today I am starting a new plan: I am eating more food throughout the day to prevent my hungry body from binging after dinner. It is scary eating more food than I have for over a year, but I know I have to do it to stay healthy. 

I hope this post doesn't depress anyone or make them upset. That is truly not my intention. I just wanted to show you guys that I am not perfect. Far from it. I have flaws and I mess up just like everyone else. And I am on my way to fixing my mistakes and making my life and my health better. I refuse to tear myself down for making a mistake that is natural and normal. I will take my eating habits back. I refuse to give up on myself.

If you have dealt with the same things or would just like to talk, I am always here to talk. Just shoot me an email at dressingonsideblog@gmail.com